New Years' Eve Grief
by thegreenpuma88
Summary: Written for New Years! Gohan is feeling really guilty about Goku's untimely death and Piccolo and Chi-Chi are left to the help Gohan out. But Goku is feeling the guilt of leaving Gohan. Will there be a happy ending? Suicide, mild language. One shot!


HELLO!!! I know I haven't updated in years, but that is going to change!!! I really want to finish my stories and I will do it!!! So yes, I'm alive, and no, there is no good excuse for not updating my other stories.

But anyway, this little story popped into my head for New Years so I decided to type it up and see how it goes. So it probably sucks but I didn't edit it or plan it so…yeah. R&R please!!!

* * *

10:45 p.m. Decmeber 31st

The New Years Eve night air was frigid and filled with gently falling snow; the wind blew softly but did not disturb the heaps and clumps of snow that covered the beautiful mountain terrain. Ice covered tree branches sparkled lightly in the moonlight adding to the peacefulness of the evening.

But not all was at ease in the mountain range. A young boy sat still on the roof of a little house that was nestled in the one of the valleys in the mountains. Snow covered the cozy cottages' wooden roof but that did not bother the teenage boy. He sat with his knees hugged to his chest; his onyx eyes staring out into the winter night. His breaths came out in small white puffs that seemingly evaporated into the air. Shivers ran up and down his spine as his orange and blue gi did nothing to shield him from the harsh climate.

A lone tear ran down his cheek and a muffled sob emitted quietly from his throat as his head fell forward into his knees. Strong hands tightened their grip on lanky legs as wave and wave of grief weakened the poor boy.

"Daddy…" A whimper for the one person who could make things right once again escaped the boy's mouth before heavy, gut-wrenching sobs shook his entire frame.

* * *

10:53 p.m.

Chi-Chi sighed. Looking up from the hungry baby she was feeding, she glanced outside. Gohan had left about an hour ago and had not returned. She knew exactly where he was. She could hear his cries for this father and every sob broke her heart.

She wished she could help Gohan. Oh she really did. But she couldn't help Gohan as long as he continued to blame himself for his father's untimely death by Cell's hand. He wouldn't listen to reason and he continued to self-destruct before her very eyes.

Piccolo had been by several times to talk to the poor kid but even he as close to Gohan as he was had been unsuccessful. Chi-Chi knew that Piccolo tried to convince his best friend that he was not at fault and Cell was to blame, but Gohan turned away.

And so Chi-Chi now sat on the living room couch, alone and desperate to help her son.

* * *

10:59 p.m.

The wind softly blew Piccolo's cape from side to side, the Namek took no notice of this small occurrence. Instead his focus was elsewhere on the mountain. His acute senses and mental bond with Gohan allowed him to know exactly what his student was up to. Another evening filled with guilt, grief, and anger.

Piccolo subconsciously snorted. One battle was all it took for the innocent child in Gohan to turn into an emotional wreck. He could feel Gohan's emotions seeping through their bond and through his ki. His energy practically screamed of heartache and hear Piccolo was powerless.

Powerless because the promise he made to Gohan was broken. How could he keep Gohan protected and safe if the one hurting him was himself? Piccolo fumed in his meditation. He wanted to beat that idiot father of Gohan. How dare he do this to his son?!

Piccolo swallowed and took a deep breath. He needed to be calm and keep an eye on Gohan. He didn't like some of the thoughts that had bled over the mind link and they scared him. Gohan was contemplating, really thinking about…killing himself.

The notion sent a repessed shiver through Piccolo. He couldn't even imagine what would happen if Gohan went through with his thoughts. No he really couldn't.

And so, Piccolo kept meditating and keeping a watchful eye on his best friend and student.

* * *

11:04 p.m.

Gohan hated himself. He really did. He loathed every inch of his body, knowing full well that his strength killed his father. No, not killed. Murdered. Slaughtered. He bit his lip. Tears threatened to spill once again. Why was he crying? Over his father's death? Why? He was the one who murdered him! He had no right to cry!

Only his mother did. And his friends. They didn't do anything wrong. They didn't disobey their father. They didn't lose their head during the fight with Cell.

No, that was him. Son Gohan, age 11. Half-saiyan, half-human. Son of Chi-Chi and Goku. And a murderer. Piccolo had tried to convince him otherwise. Tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault, he wasn't a killer, blah, blah, blah. Gohan didn't believe him. Piccolo just didn't understand. No, no one did. Which is why Gohan had now gotten some new ideas. Suicide.

Gohan nearly laughed when he thought about it. Who'd thought that little innocent Gohan would actually want to kill himself? But then again, nobody thought Gohan would have murdered his father.

He knew how easy it would be to off himself. He was the strongest in the world. No, the universe. And nobody could stop him. Not Piccolo. Not Vegeta. Not his mother. Not Krillin. No one.

And so, Gohan thought on as the snow fell around him about how a life for a life would be so appropriate.

* * *

11:13 p.m.

Goku gulped. He was scared. Frightened even. He knew he had made a huge mistake and now his son was paying for it. Goku could feel his kin's ki even in the Otherworld and it was full of pain. Full of grief. Full of guilt. The emotions rolling off of his energy were astounding and so full of negativity.

So now what? Goku was dead. He didn't want to wished back. He was protecting the Earth and all of his friends. His family. Chi-Chi. Goten. Gohan. But now it seemed, he was the one who was hurting Gohan the most. His poor decision making had really outdone itself this time.

The Earth or his son? Goku shook his head. Screw the Earth. His son needed him. He had abandoned his son for too long. Gohan needed him. Before it was too late.

Oh yes, Goku knew about the suicidal thoughts. And he couldn't believe the word suicide and Gohan would go together in the same sentence. And now…Gohan was seriously considering killing himself.

And so, Goku waited. And waited. And waited for the Nameks to gather their dragonballs, all the while hoping he wasn't too late.

* * *

11:21 p.m.

Piccolo's eyes snapped open. He growled in frustration and anger. That last thought from Gohan was for real. He really was going through with it. No! Gohan could not kill himself. He just couldn't. They had been through too many things for Gohan to give up so easily.

Gohan's ki moved slightly away from his house and Piccolo straightened up. He flared his ki around himself and prepared himself. If he was too late, well…he didn't want to think about that. And if he stopped him, well…he didn't know how determined Gohan might be to die. Shit.

Growling, Piccolo blasted off, all the while chastising himself for getting caught up in his thoughts.

And so, Piccolo flew through the night. Hoping and praying that Gohan would not die.

* * *

11:26 p.m.

Chi-Chi rocked little Goten to sleep as she listened for Gohan outside. She hadn't heard anything from him and this…stillness was starting to bother her. She glanced at the clock. 11:27. 33 minutes. Then the new year would begin. Without Goku. Without her husband and father to her two sons.

Oh how she longed for Goku's return. Not just for her, but for Gohan too. He was hurting. She saw it every time he walked into the room or looked at Goten. And she knew Gohan was thinking about suicide.

She should have something to him or one of his friends, but she couldn't. She was in denial. Her sweet little boy wouldn't do that. But maybe the wise voice in her knew the truth. Which is why she didn't make him study anymore. She gave him free rein to do anything in hopes of cheering him up. But to no avail. Gohan fell farther into darkness.

And so, she rocked back and forth. Back and forth. All the while praying as the clock clicked closer to midnight.

* * *

11:33 p.m.

Gohan stood at the edge of the clearing where his house was. Glancing back at the little cabin that housed his small family and too many memories, he suddenly felt another wave of guilt. No not from the death of his father, but about what his death would do to his mother.

She had been through so much. She had lost her husband and now she would lose her son too. And Piccolo. How would he feel? He was his best friend. And now he was leaving him. Betraying him actually.

He knew how guilty Piccolo would feel. Piccolo had sworn to protect him and now he was helpless to do anything. Oh, he knew that Piccolo knew about the morbid thoughts in his head. That much was a given from the bond they shared. But he also knew Piccolo was in denial.

Why? Because Gohan was a little boy who was still naïve about a lot of things in the world. But not death. Gohan knew death. He knew how it looked and how it smelled and how destructive it was. And he was not afraid.

And so, Gohan took a deep breath and readied a small but lethal ki blast and aimed it over his heart.

* * *

11:40 p.m.

Goku paced. He was worried. Gohan's ki felt…off. Almost like he had finally decided on his final act. No! He couldn't have! The Nameks would be wishing Goku back any second! No! Gohan!

Tears pooled in Goku's eyes. It was his fault. The price for saving the Earth was his son. Goku wasn't prepared to it. He never had been. It wasn't fair. Gohan was a kid! He was only 11!

And yet he was forced to fight. He was forced to hurt. He was forced to hurt. And Goku burned with shame. This was his fault. If Gohan thought his hands were bloody with Goku's blood, then Goku's would be dyed with Gohan's. How fitting. Son kills father. Father kills son. Vegeta would even call it Saiyan like.

And then, hope. Goku's halo disappeared. He looked up and then looked forward, determination is his eyes as he disappeared back to Earth.

* * *

11:46 p.m.

"No! Gohan, don't!"

Gohan whirled around as he saw Piccolo land a few feet away from him. Piccolo looked rattled. And he was. Two seconds later and Piccolo would have found a corpse.

"Go away, Piccolo. This is what I deserve."

Gohan's voice lacked emotion as his eyes turned downward. Piccolo shook his head. No, the kid would not kill himself. He'd make sure of it.

"No, this isn't Gohan! You didn't kill your father! You've done nothing wrong!" Piccolo screamed at his student as he slowly inched his way toward the teen.

"Yes, I did! I killed him Piccolo! I'm the reason Mom's a widow and Goten doesn't have a father! It was my fault!" Gohan retorted. His voice was hoarse from tears and his eyes were filled with tears that threatened to spill down his face any second.

Piccolo shook his head slowly, "No, Gohan. Cell killed him. Not you. You saved the planet. And me. And your mom. You've done nothing wrong. Please don't do this kid. Please." Piccolo's voice cracked and dropped in volume as he pleaded with his student.

Gohan gulped and his resolve wavered. He was the only one that Piccolo could ever show any emotion other than anger or bitterness to and now he had gotten this full force. Could he really do this? Gohan paused. And then he knew. Yes, yes he could.

"Goodbye Piccolo," whispered Gohan. He raised his hand back to his hand and his hand began to glow with energy.

"No!" Piccolo dashed forward, but he knew he'd be too late.

* * *

11:52 p.m.

Goku phased into sight, right in front of Gohan. Goku smiled and then frowned. Gohan was about to fire a ki blast through his heart.

"No!" Goku jumped forward and knocked Gohan to the frozen ground.

Gohan's eyes widened as he saw who had prevented him from killing himself.

"Daddy?" Gohan's voice came out a whisper and Goku nodded.

"I'm back, Gohan. Please don't do this. Please". Gohan pulled himself into a sitting position and stared for a moment at his father who sat across from him with a look of utmost concern on his face. He swallowed. Could he do this? Could he still kill himself?

Looking into his father's eyes, the answer came to him. Goku's eyes were filled with never-ending love and not the anger Gohan had imagined they were.

"Gohan?"

Goku's voice snapped Gohan out of his thoughts. And he opened his mouth and found an answer.

* * *

11:55 p.m.

"You're not…angry with me?"

Goku's eyes widened as he shook his head vehemously.

"No! Gohan, I could never be angry with you. No. Son, you mean to much to me. I couldn't stand to see you do this to yourself," Goku told his son, "I love you, Gohan. You're my son. You're the world to me."

And that was all it took for Gohan. He threw himself into his father's waiting arms, hugging his father tightly as tears rushed out of Gohan's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dad."

Goku smiled softly, "No, Gohan. I'm sorry. I've put you through so much and I didn't stop to think about what would happen to you. Just promise me, you won't try something like this again."

Gohan nodded, "I promise."

"That goes double for me," growled Piccolo who had walked up to the father-son duo, "You mean too much to me, Gohan. I mean it."

Gohan nodded at Piccolo, knowing how hard it was for Piccolo to express his true emotions, especially in front of others.

"Gohan? Goha-? Goku? Is that you?"

All heads turned to look at Chi-Chi who stood holding a sleeping Goten at the threshold to the Son house.

Goku slowly stood up, bringing Gohan up with him, "Yes, honey, I'm home. Finally."

With a joyous cry, Chi-Chi ran through the snow toward her son and husband, tears of happiness falling down her face.

"Goku! You're home!"

Chi-Chi hugged her husband and sons tightly, knowing everything would be alright.

Piccolo smiled faintly, before quietly walking toward the frozen waterfall, content with the happy ending that the year had brought.

"I love you, Chi-Chi. You too, Gohan. I'm sorry I left both of you. But this year will be different. I will be here. I will be a better husband and father to both you and Goten." Goku pulled his family into a hug, "Now lets go inside before we all catch a cold."

And as the Son family walked happily back into their cottage, the new year was born and a new beginning was just starting for Gohan and his family.

12:01 a.m. January 1st

* * *

So what did you think?! Too cheesy? Too lame? Let me know! I haven't written in ages!

R&R

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

LOOK FOR MORE UPDATES!!

Lpgohanfanatic


End file.
